So, the original plan was to get 6 – A Story About Something Lost, aka A Fairytale pt. 2 up and running today, but I have failed in that respect miserably. However, for once, I also cannot blame myself because, the fact of the matter is, I tried very hard and could not figure out a way to fenangle that particular result. The unfortunate truth of the matter is that, in this phase of my life, between academics and writing, I will have to choose academics.

So, on that note, I also thought it would be interesting to share the scope of my real life responsibilities with all of you. Starting simple, I am a junior in undergrad with a Psychology major and a Philosophy minor. I am currently working to add a Linguistics major and a Legal Studies minor to that lineup. This semester, like every semester, I am taking five classes:

1. Intermediate Arabic
   • So our original professor left us in the lurch to go and attend medical school in California, so everyone in the class is struggling to get used to our new professor’s pace and style. She’s not the kind of professor I usually like, but I can at least understand what kind of person she is, which helps me navigate my studies and assignments. The workload is insane, but I’m the one who leapt at the chance to study the Arabic language anyway, so I’ll muddle through.
2. Disorders of Childhood
   • Mayday, mayday, what a stressful class – it’s fascinating, and I am learning so much, but it is also a heartbreaking class. Most everyone, myself included, am taking the class due to their own experiences and connections with their family. We read literature like Yellow Raft on Blue Water and The Shovel and the Loom as well as memoirs like The Broken Cord and it’s all painfully real. Also, I barely have time to read such dense, heavy literature, let alone a full book a week, but that’s what I’m doing, haha.
3. Research Methods
   • Apparently this class is supposed to teach me how to conduct scientific research in APA style and such, but by virtue of being an IB student in an international school, I already am familiar with most of the context. Doesn’t mean I shouldn’t study for the test this Monday, though;;
4. Conflict Analysis and Intervention
   • I get to go on a field trip to court to sit in on an actual mediation!! That’s the most exciting part of the course. Otherwise, what I have learned through my readings and the mock negotiations/mediations required of this course is that I have been mediating all my life. I settle into the role naturally. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad, but it’s getting me through the class. Taking this at the same time as Disorders of Childhood is a bit of an experience.
5. Intro to Linguistics
   • Me taking this course is kind of funny because I’m technically completing my Linguistics major backwards. I have all the electives done, so now I have to take the core classes, starting with the introductory course. Oh well.

And then I have the extracurriculars, which are also devouring my time because I am a fool who makes too many commitments and regrets it later:

1. Copy Editor of the School Newspaper
   • On Mondays, I am at my school newspaper office from about 3:30pm to 2am, every week, without a break. My job is to recruit and retain copy staff, manage copy schedule, communicate with the other editors to ensure a smooth copyediting system, and then reading the entire newspaper before it goes to print to catch all spelling, grammar, AP style, and layout errors. I get so sick of reading. I don’t even pick up the newspaper once it prints because, what’s the point, I read the whole thing already.
2. Member of the Student Board of Conduct
   • Honestly, though I am more enthusiastic about this role than any of my other ones, my college’s SBC system has just had a change of management and is doing nothing. I do hope that I eventually get to do some good on campus and actually help the other students understand their rights and solve their disputes, and such. As of now, it’s just a pretty title on my resume.
3. Assistant Director of 12 Angry Jurors
   • Rehearsals Sunday through Thursday from 7pm to 11pm every week until show time in November. I took on this position on a whim, and boy do I regret. The problem with attending my particular high school is that once you’re part of a theatre program so strong (and I got a 7 in IB Higher Level Theatre!) that everything else can feel a little… diluted. I joined with enthusiasm, but everything feels a little dry at the moment. I can’t muster the proper enthusiasm about the rehearsals as I should, but I’m not the sort to abandon a creative production just because I’m not having fun. The show must go on.
4. Intern at the Gender & Sexuality / Intercultural Center
   • So technically I am employed by a ghost because my boss from last semester took a position at a different school,  and my university has yet to replace the position. As a result, I’m left in a kind of limbo where I am heading to my office hours but unable to do any work because it might not fit with the eventual new hire’s vision for the space. However, as soon as I get permission, I know what my pet project is going to be – organizing the Gender & Sexuality library and, more importantly, adding a fiction shelf. I can’t think of any modern books featuring good LGBTQ representation off the top of my head, but by god do I plan to find some and fill that shelf.

So, in any case, frankly put, due to no one’s fault of my own, I suppose I’m really just writing this blog post to proclaim to the world that… well, putting it simply…

I’M TIRED.

Oh, boy, howdy, I am exhausted. But even so, I want to succeed at this short story challenge so badly, because it is teaching me discipline, really. It’s forcing writing to be part of my routine, and the challenge has already gotten four times harder because I slipped once – I’m still struggling to find my footing and get back into pace. However, I know for a fact that if I give up now, I might as well give up on pursuing creative writing as a paying job because that would be the end of my work ethic.

Really, I guess that just means I’ll have to power through it. I’m not dead yet, and even though I’m tired, I know for a fact that I am not overworked. I am self-aware enough to know that I am tiptoeing my limit, but I have yet to cross it. I’m resilient enough, and I accept the consequences of my own actions without fail.

Sorry, guess this is either a vent or a self-motivating blog post. I’m not even really sure which. But I’ve gotten some things off my chest now, and now I can get back to work.